Thursday, September 18, 2008

Control Freaks!!!!

Today is vent day regarding control freaks. The worst thing about control freaks is that they NEVER see themselves as being a control freak. They say things like; "I'm not doing anything wrong!", "I'm not going to be told what to do by anyone!", "If only they would do what I say!" In my experience, there are two kinds of control freaks. #1 - The always angry, "I'll blow up if I don't get what I want when I want it", type and #2 - The silent manipulating, "I'll just refuse to do or say anything until I get what I want", type. Both types are very hard to deal with because you are either being yelled at or completely ignored. Which means what for the issue at hand? You either give in to the "CF" or get nothing from them at all regarding the issue. Unfortunately, they truly believe they can do no wrong just as strongly as they believe no one else can do anything right, or at least not as well as they can. They can always fine fault and room for improvement with others but never in themselves. For you to even suggest that they might be the ones who should possibly consider changing anything about themselves is a total waste of time. Why you may ask?..... You got it!.... One blows up at you and the other walks away from you refusing to even discuss it. My personal favorite among both types is; "I just don't understand what your problem is, what did I do?" Cracks me up every time I think about it! Of course in the middle of trying to deal with it, it is anything but funny. I really do wish that people had the ability to see themselves as others do. Put themselves in others shoes so to speak. I'm pretty sure there would be more fairness among us if we could.

Have a wonderful day,


Maharet said...

well, i'm not sure. i'm a control freak myself, but i'm well aware of it. i'm also well aware of the fact that if i have to shove my foot up my husbands butt to get him to understand me things could go wrong fast.

kind of have to be prepared to accept the concequences. it's really hard work. any relationship be it with family, friends or partners is difficult. empathy is a dying emotion though and it's so hard to communicate your feelings when you know the person you're speaking to is nothing but a stone wall.

i've had to teach my husband empathy the hard way. he still doesn't get it, but lucky for us he's able to better recognize those moments when there's no possible way i'll be able to "let it go" and sits patiently until i unload. i'm done with an argument when i'm satisfied he fully understands me.

can you imagine??? i have CFitis, it's like a disease. at least i apoligize when i know i've gone too far, he has to be reminded constantly.

anyway, really enjoyed your post. :)

-Zosimee♥ said...

Hi maharet,

Thanks for sharing that. There is always more than one side to every issue. I think it is great that you are aware of your "control freakishness" ;0) and can talk about it and even said you apologize for it, so maybe you are not such a control freak but more a person who wants to be heard and understood. I can relate to that because I never had a "voice" in my marriage and I got pretty upset about it. Thanks again for the comment. Have a wonderful day...